So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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