Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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