Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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