Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
