Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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