When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
