Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
