apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
