i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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