I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
