It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize