I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
this is an emotional support booty call
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
wow bdsm is so cute
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
