based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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