the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
it's like heaven, but drunker
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
