You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
