I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
