So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
