small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I love how my cats smell like pot.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize