if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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