Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
