well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
