thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
