That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize