I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
