im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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