I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
