as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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