get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
