guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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