K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
