The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
