she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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