I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
