..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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