i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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