Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
