So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
