Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
