I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
