Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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