Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
