What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We just shotgunned beers for America
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
