Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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