i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize