we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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