My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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