I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
