did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize