I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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