absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
