I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
