Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
