my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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