We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
