You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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