You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
