She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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