we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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