Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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