she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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