so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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