I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need a beard to bite.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
